We're sitting down with the indomitable Kaleena Powell, a hard of hearing entrepreneur, author, and advocate. She bravely shares her journey of losing her hearing at just four years old, and how navigating life, school, and societal barriers only fueled her fire to succeed. Imagine being a small child and suddenly the world around you is plunged into silence. Hear Kaleena's powerful narrative of resilience, self-love, and triumph.
We venture into a discussion about common misconceptions associated with the deaf and hard of hearing community, a conversation that's as enlightening as it is necessary. Kaleena talks about the challenges she faces in communication, her wish for more patience from others, and her thoughts on the importance of ASL in education. It's an insightful conversation for anyone wanting to better understand and respect the experiences of hard of hearing individuals.
But wait, there's more! Ever wondered about the unique challenges faced by hard of hearing individuals in the dating world? Kaleena's got you covered. As a woman of color with a hearing disability, she has faced obstacles and stereotyping. Her experiences, however, have led her to a deep understanding of her worth and a passionate advocacy for self-love. We wrap things up learning about Kaleena’s current ventures, and how to stay connected. This is not just an episode, it's a journey of resilience, a story of triumph over adversity, and a testament to living life on your terms.
Want more of Melanin Muses?
IG: melaninmusespodcast
We're sitting down with the indomitable Kaleena Powell, a hard of hearing entrepreneur, author, and advocate. She bravely shares her journey of losing her hearing at just four years old, and how navigating life, school, and societal barriers only fueled her fire to succeed. Imagine being a small child and suddenly the world around you is plunged into silence. Hear Kaleena's powerful narrative of resilience, self-love, and triumph.
We venture into a discussion about common misconceptions associated with the deaf and hard of hearing community, a conversation that's as enlightening as it is necessary. Kaleena talks about the challenges she faces in communication, her wish for more patience from others, and her thoughts on the importance of ASL in education. It's an insightful conversation for anyone wanting to better understand and respect the experiences of hard of hearing individuals.
But wait, there's more! Ever wondered about the unique challenges faced by hard of hearing individuals in the dating world? Kaleena's got you covered. As a woman of color with a hearing disability, she has faced obstacles and stereotyping. Her experiences, however, have led her to a deep understanding of her worth and a passionate advocacy for self-love. We wrap things up learning about Kaleena’s current ventures, and how to stay connected. This is not just an episode, it's a journey of resilience, a story of triumph over adversity, and a testament to living life on your terms.
Want more of Melanin Muses?
IG: melaninmusespodcast
Welcome everyone to this week's episode of the Melanin Muses podcast, where we will talk about what life is like living with what society considers a disability, maintaining your self-love throughout life's challenges and the shenanigans of dating with a disability With our guest muse, kaleena Powell. Kaleena is a young entrepreneur who is passionate about helping people with their personal growth journeys and educating others about a variety of things, but she's specifically dedicated to sharing her knowledge about the Deaf community. Little do people know Kaleena is actually a hard of hearing person. She became Deaf at the age of four. Yet, despite all of the odds against her, she pushed through all of the obstacles thrown her way and recently graduated with a psychology degree and is now starting her own online coaching business, all the while launching her book. Like talk about defying society's odds. That's freaking amazing. So, with that said, let's just jump right into it, y'all. Kaleena.
Speaker 2:Hi, hello, don't worry, that was horrible, but anyway, hi, everybody, hope you've been having a good day. Thank you so much, nikki, for having me. I'm super excited to be here.
Speaker 1:I'm super excited to have you on. And for y'all not watching on YouTube, y'all watching on the audio, you better go to YouTube and look how fabulous this girl is, like she just slaying today with some glasses and that smile yes, boo, I see you, oh my gosh. So, like I know, I gave a short overview of who you are. But, girl, tell them, tell, all of us tell me more about you. Tell us about you. Boo boo.
Speaker 2:Thank you Honestly. I would say I am so many hats, as Nikki mentioned before. Honestly, I'm very, very passionate about educating people and actually helping people, especially developing personal growth, especially those with disabilities, because you know myself who is a deaf person. I never had anyone that looked like me when I was growing up. Unfortunately, it was very, very hard, but I did. I do want to make a change in the community not just the deaf to me, but also community has a whole and let people know that, no matter what challenge you face in your life, you can still achieve anything, and that is why I'm here.
Speaker 1:Tell us more about what was like for you growing up. We mentioned that and you mentioned to me that you became deaf at the age of four, so can you walk us through what was it like growing up? Like, I'm assuming, you previously had hearing and then that developed into deafness or hard of hearing, and how was that transition like for you, if you remember? And then growing up?
Speaker 2:So I think before I had an infection, Unfortunately I had a job and today I didn't follow the instruction and that's how I became deaf. So it's really simple things like not following instruction from the doctor. And that same day I actually became deaf, and that's when I went home watching TV. My mom taught me shoulder to clean. I called you, I didn't hear my mom and my mom was freaking out.
Speaker 2:My mom was young, she probably my mom had been going through 20 years old, so she obviously didn't know what to expect. But luckily my grandmother was a nurse at the time, so she called my grandmother quickly. My grandmother went home. She did so many things to me and she was like okay, can you not hear me? This is not normal. We call my family doctor right away. So book an appointment for tomorrow. And luckily we went to see him and unfortunately he said it's too late. Cleaner lost her hearing. So that was how it became that. Well, it's going up.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of challenges. I actually ended up going to two schools. I went to the deaf school and a hand school. So that way my family wanted me to be part of my community so that I can learn who I am. Because, you know, as a four years old, you don't know what's happened to you, you don't know what's going on and because my family never have a deaf person in their life, so it's very new for them. They don't know what to do, they don't know what to say, especially as a four years old, your communication and your language. So it's so difficult for them because they were going through their own things, especially school work. Now my mom was young. She was finishing college. There was a lot of work that my mom had to do on her behalf and so what happened is that, you know, over the time I got better with my communication and being more confident around the hand world, but to the deaf community. So, unfortunately, I have to stop going to the deaf school and that was the biggest challenge I ever had, because the deaf school was far from my house and so I ended up going to the hand school full time.
Speaker 2:It was very, very difficult. A lot of teachers didn't know how to accommodate me. Very infunction. I was bullied a lot, definitely, and but I never made that stop me for who I was before going, moving forward or who I am. And it was, you know, especially high school. No one likes high school. High school got a little bit. It's okay, but I was able to learn how to advocate for myself because of my past school that I had, like elementary and middle school.
Speaker 2:It was very easy. But you know, a lot of people would like to use you. You know, I think everybody had been used before in high school. So I had people who were not disrespecting me a lot of time because they thought, you know I couldn't hear just some things. They would do things just to act like, oh please, you can't hear me. Like it was very difficult in high school but I was able to stick up for myself and I remember the first week of when I started high school I got into a physical fight with this girl because a lot of teachers talking crap and you know like there was a lot of advocating.
Speaker 2:I would say when I was transition, especially as I got older, the more comfortable I got. The more older I get, the more comfortable I was. That's what I'm actually saying, and so it was a challenge. It was not easy and a lot of people said how do you build a company you had? Now I feel like you are so comfortable with yourself and I said no, like it took me years to get here. You know, nothing is easy in life and I tell people it's never easy, but it does get easier as you grow.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh, my gosh. Well one look at me, be like, oh, I can't speak because I'm just so touched by that story. But in the seriousness though, like thank you for sharing that and being so vulnerable and talking about that experience. Growing up, especially when it comes to bullying in schools, I understand that. Me too. Me too, I get that.
Speaker 1:But what I can respect most about you is that you were able to stand your ground. You know, stand your ground, hold your own and be like I'm not going to be tolerating that. And not only did you stand your ground, but you also didn't allow that to keep you down. You know, utilize that as fuel to push forward and be like uh, that's not what we're doing today. And you continuously worked on yourself to build yourself up so that way that couldn't. Like you can help stop that from happening to other people.
Speaker 1:Like that's very admirable, because there are many cases where those who are bullied, there's only a few outcomes Either they overcome that and they try to help other people, or they succumb to it and just allow it to break them, or they end up becoming the bullied and just start hurting other people, cause you know the concept hurt people hurt other people. But hurt people can also heal people if they choose to. So that's amazing that you're able to use your experience to become stronger and not do what the jerks were doing. But where they at, I'm gonna kick you in the shins where I mess with my friend, but no, yeah, that's wild. And what was your experience like learning how to navigate the world now that you have like less hearing than you were used to Like? What are your primary means of communication and how is that like navigating life for you?
Speaker 2:So, honestly, for me, I rely heavily on this reading. So in order for me to communicate with someone, I have to read your lips. Obviously, I do use my hearing aid, but it's just that I feel like we didn't lift I'm able to get full sentence than first attainment years, because I don't know, but just programming things that the deaf community have, like lip-reading, is something that is number one for us. I don't know how to explain it, but I'm not good at explaining, so actually, when it comes to like audio, just stuff, I'm not the person, but it's just how it is in the deaf community we just rely heavily on the reading.
Speaker 2:Secondly, support systems. Support systems are very, very important to have and I feel like, because I have a strong family foundation, it's insane Like people will be like I wish I had your family a lot of time, because your family do not take bs. They are always like fight for you and they don't care who you are, and so if it wasn't for my family, I feel like that's the support system where I would not be hearing now, period. And so, yeah, that's how I navigate. It's really having the right people around you to write support systems and just understanding, learning, how do you communicate, and I feel a lot of people slap on that People don't know how to communicate and for me I had to learn early how to communicate.
Speaker 1:And when you're talking about in terms of how they communicate, do you mean, in a way, people phrase things or how they connect with other people, or body language Like. What do you mean specifically by that?
Speaker 2:So I'm very good at telling body language. Thank God for me being deaf. Body language my number one. I know when someone's not feeling my vibe, anybody's being that no, I mean okay, bye. You know like a long time people don't just what I mean by that. When they're like, really you can tell by my body language and I'm not interested, I'm like, yeah, body language is everything and I would slap on that and body language. I'm not interested so much of like words, because people can trick words and they can. That's why I rely heavily on the energy. Energy is something I rely on. If your energy is not good and I'm termed conversation with you and it's not there, I know of that. You're not worth someone that I want to speak to. And like I always tell people always protect your space, your peace, always protect that. Oh God, if you feel like that person's not bringing you peace or that energy the positive energy, not no negative energy then they gotta go. And that's how I do it.
Speaker 1:Yes, and like so many people don't recognize the power of energy like you were explaining. It's like that feeling that you get when you're around people and it's like I don't know what it is, but something's off or oh my gosh, they were amazing. I feel energized, like those are very key things to pay attention to, especially going into this new year. Guys, this new year, guys, pay attention to energy Like your guts, not trying to trick you, listen to it. This is what we got it for. Like come on now. But no, that's absolutely incredible. Like, even though there was a loss of one of the senses, other senses were heightened and enabled you to be like you know what. It's okay, this might be temporary, of a inconvenience, but at least now I can amp up all these other senses and be like I see you, fam, I see what you're doing, can't fool me.
Speaker 2:Definitely.
Speaker 1:And like so when it comes to the deaf community, because you know you were saying earlier when it comes to bullying, that people just try you because they're like well, they're deaf, so I can do whatever I want. What are some common misconceptions that the average person has about the deaf community that you would like to dispel?
Speaker 2:I wanted to say that not every deaf person you meet knows ASL. A lot of people thought I knew how to do ASL and they would try to do a gang sign to me and I'm like that is not a sign language, even though I don't know sign language, but like that is not sign language. Come on now. And that's the one misconception I got a lot. And second, I do want to say that a lot of people always say like how do deaf people talk if they're deaf or something like that. It was just ridiculous. I get that comment sometimes I should talk and I'm like what the hell? And then some people be like, oh, like how can you hear music? And I'm like I listen to music through beat, right, but because for me, for my background, I'm a Caribbean island person the beat with our dead, the tone and what else.
Speaker 2:I don't know, there's a whole bunch of things. If you're from the island, you know what I mean. But it's different vibe versus listening to any other music, because I can hear the beat and the vibration. Some people listen to music through vibration, which is very different from other people. So that's definitely a lot of misconception. And a lot of people are asking like how do you like deaf people drive? I have my own car, I drive, and a lot of people are like how do deaf people drive? They can't hear, for example, a police car or an ambulance, and I'm like the ambulance sounds pretty loud, especially when you're driving Like it's not like the car is a wall, like come on people. But yeah, I'm definitely a lot of misconception in those three.
Speaker 1:Oh man. So you find yourself regularly have to dispel this with people like do you have to have these conversations on the regular? Or like, how often do you think these typically come across that you have to address it?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, regular, I'm telling you guys it's exhausting, but I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. And so, attacking onto this topic, like, what do you wish that people could understand about your experience as a hard of hearing person, like there's all these misconceptions, but specifically regarding to yours, what do you think they? What do you wish they would understand?
Speaker 2:At least what they understand, that to be patient with the people, and I feel like a lot of time people. When I definitely said, can you please repeat yourself one more time, like don't open your mouth and talk, I feel like you were like, oh okay, like don't open your mouth like that, like I'm not asking to open your mouth wider to have a conversation with me. That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking you to repeat what you're saying A lot of times.
Speaker 2:If someone asks, especially if someone is tired of hearing a deaf and asks you to repeat, I would use a softer tone so that they can understand you better, instead of talking a little faster or to talk softer and slower, for that people can understand, especially me, I have my hold on talk slower, to talk a little faster, not faster, slower and a lot more calm tones. And as well, too, if you're trying to get a deaf person attention, just like I asked this a lot, people always ask me how do I get a deaf person attention? Especially from asking them something. For example, tap on their back or their shoulder to get their attention, because they need to see you face to face, right To have a conversation. That's like me. I have to see your face in order to have a communication with you. So if you're talking to me behind me, oh, I don't know what you're saying, because I have to look at you in your face on your face.
Speaker 1:I think one of the fears of that nowadays is like are you like the whole virus, pandemic stuff happening? It's like is it okay for me to tap you? Or I don't want to scare you out of nowhere? Like how would you respond to that If someone's like well, I don't want to surprise you or scare you by tapping you suddenly or invade your personal space?
Speaker 2:You can. So you can go, instead of being in a person's face, you can turn around and you can wave to the person. So that's why I used to do wave, especially COVID situation. I'd go in front of the person and be like, hi, I'm waving in front of them, you know like so that and they look oh, so sorry. That would be a great way to post them if you don't want to be in their personal space.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you. Thank you for that. That's a very good alternative, cause I'm like I don't want to scare anybody or I know people are very icky about touchy nowadays I'm like no touchy, I promise. Yeah. But and then when it comes to the community like we had this conversation off camera of like being biracial people, but within a community, like how have you seen those who are deaf within a community? Have you guys been very accepted by the community? Or there's not enough knowledge or something you wish to change.
Speaker 2:There's definitely not enough knowledge about the deaf community and there's not enough ASL classes that's provided for us, unfortunately, especially when I was transferred to the deaf school and, funny thing is, didn't have any ASL classes for me, or didn't have any anybody that I can continue with ASL classes with, especially for the deaf school. I learned ASL, but when I went to the hair and school I didn't learn it, so for me it was just like I felt like isolated from my deaf community. It's like what the heck? So there's definitely a lot of like yes, I was just stuck there, but at the same time, no, there's a lot of like work that needs to be done.
Speaker 1:So do you think that, as part of the educational system, ASL should be implemented as like? Just like how they say, for example, here in the US we do like Latin and French and other languages.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:But ASL isn't really introduced, usually in the elementary school levels or very young levels. Do you think that's something that should be adjusted and addressed?
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%. I feel like it's a lot. I guess it should be adjusted because, if you think about it, where do you learn your information? From School? All the time, all these years, when you go to school, you learn all these information, but you don't learn enough, especially to get to the real world. Just like the other time too, when students go especially myself, I graduated I felt like all the things I learned in school were not relevant to my real life and I'm just like why are they not teaching things? That is priority for the real world, and it's like I waste just so much money. I'm not saying don't go to university or college, but I'm just saying that there's certain programs you should be taking, should not be taking, where you can learn from online, where you can learn from this and that. So it's very unfortunate.
Speaker 1:When it comes to being like part of the community where they say, oh well, this is a disability for you and it seems like they try to put you guys into a victim mentality space rather than empowering. So, instead of doing the negative aspect of things, what do you think is the best part about being hard of hearing for you? Like people usually, talk about the negative.
Speaker 2:The best part about being hard of hearing or deaf I can sleep at night, you know, turn off my hearing aid, I don't have to worry about nothing. I can sleep at night. That's the best thing, because I get the best sleep. People are like, oh my God, how do you have so much energy? And I'm like, because I get the best sleep, I can't hear. So that's the best thing. Especially if I'm around a noisy coffee shop, especially if I'm reading a book or doing work, I can just simply turn off my hearing aid and work. Peace and quiet, oh my gosh, I love that so much, especially the concept of coffee shops and trying to sleep.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. Yeah, that's amazing. And do you feel like this has become a part of your identity and shaped a big part of who you are?
Speaker 2:Yes and no. I know that some people with the yes and some people with the no. For me I'm in the middle, to be honest, just because just say, for example, education when I go to school, they define me as Daphne and I should be in this classroom because I'm deaf. Okay, but that should not define who I am because I am deaf. So that's the way I'm being said now. And yes, when I go public wide and speak to people, it's like okay, can you hear Daphne? We need to be mindful, we need to be aware. So that's where the yes comes from. It's like that's who I am, because you can't get upset at me if I don't know, if I can't hear you or can't communicate. So they just know.
Speaker 1:and to that question, With that, guys, this will bring us to the end of the part one segment of our podcast, so we shall return in just a moment, after this short break. And we're back, guys, with part two of this episode with Kelina. And the first episode was so very English is hard for me at the moment because no coffee, but you know it was. So what's the word? Educational? Ha see, I do know English Is very educational. I learned a lot In part two. We're gonna jump into what is it like dating with a disability. So yes, but before we go into the dating stuff, tell us about your self love journey, the most important your self love.
Speaker 2:Tell us about that. My self journey was something that I had to learn the hard way about. Just because, being Daphne, I thought I would never see myself in a relationship. I never really thought of that. I thought that I have too much to carry for a guy and especially being a relationship in general like I thought it would be too much and I was just like I don't think this guy can handle me because I'm Daphne.
Speaker 2:I always have an excuse and I always make my disability has an excuse to find love, and that should have not been the case. But yeah, they always say like if that person can handle you, then they deserve your love. If that person can handle you, they do not deserve your love. And they always say, just like the boss, queen, every entrepreneur, boss and whatever. And I told them how do you find your husband? They said, listen, honey, that man can pull up with a lot of BS. They love you and they're like doesn't matter how much you make not the problem nowadays but man thinks that they need to be the provider, they need to make more money and not a lot.
Speaker 2:I'm like, okay, I never knew right and so. But yeah, when I talk to a lot of people about relationship and marriage, I realized like I can handle that too right, do I not? You know, and I was really focusing on like reading a lot of books about relationship and stuff love how do I put myself first? And I've just been that. Yeah, I put myself out there in a day and a while.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you feel like books have been the biggest part of your self-love journey. Or have there been other means as well, when it came to building up that, not that wall, but that shield of like no, I love myself. Y'all can't break through this and break me down.
Speaker 2:It was thanks to me honestly it was just reading books part of it but also to counseling. I just had a counselor who kind of walked me through stuff and just make me understand who I am and make me realize what I should be working on especially. You know, relationship is a lot of work, you know, and I was new to the dating role when I was like 20 years old. I never really dated until 20. I was enjoying my university lifestyle and you know, regularly teenager, you know party how's party. Yet you know I would just enjoy my life, you know. But I never really started my dating. We could make family with so many about, like not to date until when I'm in my late 20s, just because it's the way the world is going.
Speaker 1:And what steps do you take now, like now that you've gotten pretty much a swing on things, of reintroducing yourself to yourself, self-love regularly, like reinforcing, reinforcing? What steps do you regularly take to remind yourself of your worth and your value and not to allow anyone else to take that from you?
Speaker 2:Honestly, it may sound weird, but I decided to do that by like one of most of the days and not like most of the day, like that. I know people like, oh my God, no, I mean like one on date, like once a week, just to kind of balance it out and just kind of learn slowly. Right, you don't want to learn too fast. Once you learn too fast, you're not going to be in a happy relationship, you're going to be like damn, I rushed it right, there's no rushing. And that's the number one thing a lot of, especially women, need to learn is stop rushing Like God, what's the rush? Why the rush of having kids from class?
Speaker 2:Oh, and also too and I always tell people, everybody's timeline is different and one timeline different than yours, and I just I think my sweet time. Honestly, you know things might break when I was single for five years and I'm still single. So it's like, okay, you know, like I see my friend getting engaged, having kids, but I am happy for them and sometimes you have to learn how to be happy for other people.
Speaker 1:And how old are you now, if you?
Speaker 2:don't mind me asking 25.
Speaker 1:The babies. I feel so old.
Speaker 2:No, how old do you?
Speaker 1:think I am. How old do you think I am girl, 30.
Speaker 2:Yeah, are you 30?
Speaker 1:I am 30.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:I mean, I know I'm not that old, but it's fascinating hearing this perspective from you and it just gives me so much hope for, like the next generation oh God, I'm using next generation. It's definitely one of those things because, especially as women of color, I feel like our worth is constantly being tested, especially by what we're seeing in the media, or lack thereof. We're always portrayed in a single, like a certain light. That's not too flattering for us. So to hear someone who's younger than me, understanding their worth, understanding their value and also sharing that with other people, it's just astounding and I love that. Like, keep this up, boo, i'ma cheer for you. You're a cheer, thank you, I got you. If I need to kick somebody, you let me know. Oh, I will. I may be tiny, I'm not even five foot, but you know, we like the Chihuahuas, we the ankle biters, and like speaking, like tagging along to that. Like what has your dating experience been like so far? For? Like for you in general as a woman of color, like what has it been like?
Speaker 2:I don't like you mentioned the media. Like if you date a woman of color, it's the top you can't, you know, like, and there's so many podcasts talk about women and then they it's just weird in the way they define especially women of color. It's not an easy topic to talk about, but it's not the women of color and it's just kind of like what is going on here and I know everybody's opinion is different. I respect that. But just like, don't go fall out on a podcast talking about women, especially women of color, and, oh my God, women of color so strong, oh, I hear this woman is too strong, they're too confident, you know. And then and that's where they said, women of color bring up manning men and themselves and they and that's why I keep caring so much about it it's just like what the heck? And then for me, when I start dating in the dating world, I would say the beginning is nice, then you know. But then slowly down the road, I felt like I was like what? And I guess because the man and I think there's too many people on social media and have too many opinions and there's too many people to listen to that one, too many options. When there's too many options, they slap and then they move on to the next question.
Speaker 2:Because you being and especially women of color, especially like I believe we find it very difficult to find our story because there's too many options around, especially you know men in general, like they always think, oh, because she too manned for me and she asked like a man, you know I would take advantage of her because she does this for me, oh, my God. And then they always complain and think, oh, why is my woman not feminine than other men, girlfriend, wife or whatever? It's because I'm like, because you've been out the bad energy and a bad vibe to women of color, and then I'm not just a person, raise it them or anything. But that's why a lot of women of color sometimes go for different ways and different internationally, because men of color don't know how to take, not to give advantage of what they have, but be grateful what they have.
Speaker 2:And it's just like, especially women of color, we are powerful, we know how to, we stick to your goal, we stick to you. You know what I mean. Like not a lot of women could do that compared to women of color. We women of color go through a lot of bias to go with a man you know, and that's why men sometimes, especially men of color, they don't know. Oh my God, you got that. It's just like are you not grateful for your own kind? And it's like and a lot of times and I honestly, now that I'm getting older, I see and I understand why women of color go for different particular men because they don't feel like they're worthy and they feel like it's just the man of different race, grew up different versus the man of color, so it's very yeah.
Speaker 1:It's fascinating that you say that, because as I'm getting older, now as well, I have recognized both sides of that. Like from living abroad in a country where a majority of my dating experience was fantasized is like, oh, I've never been with a black woman before. Oh, I have it on my wish list or my checklist. To sleep with a black woman you wanna help me with that? Like men has said these things to me. And then also being in Philly where it's like I've seen both sides of the spectrum of, especially when it comes to men of color that I've encountered not all of them. Luckily, I found some good friends of mine who are absolute gentlemen and they're gonna make some women very, very happy. But on the other end, I've encountered men who would just randomly try and touch me on the street and be like yo, mama, where you going, how you doing? I'm like sorry, not interested. Then they start cussing you out and be like you this and you that. Well, you ain't pretty anyway.
Speaker 1:I'm like yo, what's with this 180? I respectfully declined. And it's just, it's wild. And I think it just starts at home. It starts with the representation that we have in the media and also to the music that these kids are listening to. You know like it's about all these bees and these hoes and these this, and it is giving a reputation to women of the community that, oh, we're not valuable unless we behave a certain way, and it's just a very sad cycle that's perpetuating. That needs to be addressed.
Speaker 1:Obviously, this is not everyone and people from different strokes behave different ways, but I feel that within our community, a lot of the media that especially our men are consuming is influencing them incorrectly and also bad influences the people they hang out with, is perpetuating the cycle of oh, this is how we treat black women, don't worry about it. So it's sad, it's very sad, and that's a whole conversation for another day, but I hope that things change in the positive direction. But in terms of when it comes to being hard of hearing as well, like what has that been like for you in terms of like dating and finding that right partner? I know you said it was difficult for you to recognize that before, but now, since you become more at home with it. What's the most challenging things about dating? Being hard of hearing. What's the most rewarding, actually?
Speaker 2:The most rewarding? I would start with the most rewarding. The most rewarding is teaching them. They love to learn. I know a lot of guys I wanna date with. I'm mad they love my learning and listening about my story. I never went through like really bad side of that. I mean, you know, and yeah, they love learning. That's the one thing about guys that know they love learning and things. They love learning and things. If you can educate them on something, oh my God, they have your own hooks. You look Really, oh my God. Like you know, I don't know, I would say it is.
Speaker 2:I don't know 100% of them. They love me, they, you know, but unfortunately, a lot of times that we should come to the back side is when they see and hear that they pass off in a second or while I'm going to have to. You know, I wish you the best, but I do have a friend. They love my energy, of course, but they know that me being deaf is going to be a lot for them, especially in terms of communication. And you know, I know I have few people that I would on date with. Don't didn't even tell me, like you know, specifically, but I know just few guys that would go ghost on me and because of what I carry on the table right, and they're like oh my God, no, just go deaf. Like how am I supposed to communicate with her? You know what I mean? They only do those things and it's just like okay, it's not even a big deal, I'm going to calm down and so I just do this. But I don't care If you go ghost, you go ghost, bye-bye, I don't care, I'm not, I'm not chasing after. I never take after guys. I might not Bye. So that is really. You know, that's really bad side of it.
Speaker 2:But number two I would say is sometimes they can try and take advantage of me. You know, like because I'm a very nice person and they think, because I was just a little bit, they think I'm going to be always be nice to them. But no, you know. And so I remember just one time, this one guy, long time I think I was like started dating, I think when I started I got 20. And then I remember, when I was just one guy, it was amazing, perfect. You know I'm like, oh, maybe I can see a potential for this guy, you know, cool, or whatever. But then all of a sudden, like he's trying to be disrespectful, like be rude, and every time he tried to talk to me like he talks super loud, I can't like hear when you're speaking your voice. I calm down, but I guess he thought he needs to talk to me loud without even communicating with me about, oh, how do I communicate with you? I feel like it's just a little thing that a lot of people don't understand how much little thing can make it into a bigger thing and it turns out the whole relationship off. And so that was one of the issues I have sometimes.
Speaker 2:But even with my ex-boyfriend. He's an amazing guy. He actually was new to Canada, he's an immigrant and his English was good. His English was fine, but sometimes he has a Spanish accent and so, like, sometimes it's hard for me to understand what he tells me. But he was super thoughtful when he just like, how about I teach you some Spanish words that you can understand what I'm coming from, and you know it's very sweet. And then I was just really sweet. I was like, oh my God, ok, and I always died to know about Spanish, and so he was always teaching that so that we would have a great communication and that way there's no communication barriers Because, especially when you're interacting with someone who speaks a different language, it could be difficult to communicate.
Speaker 2:And my ex was super sweet, he was very thoughtful and you know, I didn't have to tell him I was deaf, actually, because my hair was in a ponytail when we first met.
Speaker 2:I think it was like, and I think it was, yeah, I think my hair was in a ponytail, and he noticed my hearing aids and he took all your hearing aids and he made it super normal, like he didn't even ask too much questions. So I felt really comfortable because he already knew what I was hearing. I was like what's this? He already knew that and so I just felt really comfortable and I didn't have to explain myself too much. You know what I mean. Sometimes when you date someone, you always have to explain it. Especially advocating for yourself can be exhausting. So you know, and not to to, I know a lot of people, not just all the guys that dated, but in general I hear there's a lot of people who are disability. They feel like sometimes they partner overdo, sometimes overdo things for them, and sometimes they're like OK, but can you please ask me for you do anything so you respect my short term, my decision, but yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh well, kudos to him for being so sweet and he that's that like set a standard, even though, like things didn't like work out, I guess, from my understanding. But at least that's a standard that, leo, people can actually be respectful.
Speaker 1:Guys have the ability to do this, so I can't, I'm not going to settle for less like, I mean man, mm hmm, that's for my like my last question Like what advice would you give those give, to those looking for that special someone, whether they have a hearing disability or just anyone in general? What advice would you give?
Speaker 2:my advice to learn about your disability. I would learn that before you did them, I could. You could definitely think and ask a lot of questions. When they act, dating, they want to know OK, what can I do best to support you? Right, you want to be able to give it to them on the table when they ask you. That's number one. Number two stuff Love is very, very key.
Speaker 2:Always take care of yourself and if you need to rest, please rest. You know. Talk to your partner. Ok, I'm really having a drastic day, I just need a break, or you know. But always communicate that, stephanie, do break here, especially with someone who have a disability. Always communicate, always, always, always.
Speaker 2:And don't overthink too much when you're in a relationship. I think I would. When I ask, I always think a lot and I'm like, oh my God, what if he can't hear me? Or that I would, but if I was to go back, I would tell myself to come. Now, you know I was over thinking because he was actually my first boyfriend, so I didn't know what to expect. So, again, he was very successful and he's amazing. So but yeah, always take your time, always be patient, always communicate and don't overthink and believe when I tell you, don't ever listen to someone when they say you're too much because you have that disability, but not with your time. Believe me. If I had a guy, what's the best way to believe me? Out of all people, me I'm the most like. Oh my God, clean To my. But if I can get an act, you can be an a like a shop. Believe me, and don't ever think you are not worth it. You are worth everything on love.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you so much, especially ending on that note of like you are worthy, you are valuable. You don't settle for less and don't settle for crumbs when you can have the whole meal. Like you're worth more than that, and that's a perfect way to end this episode. So thank you so much, kalina, for coming on this episode. It was very informative and also it's been a lot of fun and we would love to have you back again in the future. And before we close out, are there any like final thoughts that you would like to share with the audience? Any tips, any promotions? Where can they find you? Just let them have it.
Speaker 2:I would definitely say you guys can find me on my Instagram, which is definitely in the past, don't know, and as well, you have a website with viewers somewhere and who is looking for a coach to help with that plan? Definitely go on my website, which is kalyanpalmagecom. Or, if you can't find my website, just go on Ugo, click on Kalina Power. You'll see my website pop up and a lot of people will be like, okay, how can I find you? Honestly, go on, ugo, click on Kalina Power on my website, which show up. My social media will be there and definitely, if you want to contact me, definitely please put a podcast in the DM, so I know that you are one of the listeners.
Speaker 1:Yes, and for all of you like. If you are like me sometimes and don't know how to navigate technology, do not worry, I will put all of her contact information down in the show notes of the podcast, as well as in the YouTube description of the YouTube rendition of this episode. So again, thank you so much for joining us on this episode. Kalina, it was amazing and best believe. You can't get rid of me that easily. You stuck with me. Now we homies. You stuck with me bye.